@lly's Haven

Taking up ownership of what I am called to do and not denying what He has called me to do. Am I really called? All are called but not all are chosen. Why? Reasons could be the following: 1. Denial 2. Deception 3. Distraction 4. Death? When a person turn away and choose the path of darkness into death, he/she will not be chosen as well. The path to the heavenly gates is narrow but it keeps your path straight, the way down to the core of the earth is broad and brings many distractions that seem pleasurable to the eyes of men but ultimately destruction. Psalms 34 v4 - I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. v5 - Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. v6 - This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. v7 - The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. v8 - Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. v9 - Fear the...

Wonder when we will have a morning prayer meet again..... I think it's really good to come together in unity as a church to pray and be soaked in the presence of God. Missed the morning prayer meetings we had, hope another one will come soon despite of the hectic schedule of Asia Conference. Broken and a contrite heart to see the Lord face to face. Where's faith? Throw faithlessness into the seas, pull down faith and hope from heaven, love is the greatest of everything because it unveils your eyes to a whole new world other than your own.

It's not about numbers, nor budget, nor forecast, nor revenue, etc, but it's about r/s. Hardly have I ever come across or rather this is the first that I have came across, my colleagues are so hot onto the topic of r/s. Always checking on each other's status and progress with the potentials in each other's life. Yea, updated them on the latest progression on the new friend I have made. Anyway, I really am not putting much hope until the man make the move. Not that I am playing hard to get, seriously, on one, I am easy to get along with. I am only threatened when I am in a group and withdraw. Anyway, I want to redirect my track again. I do admit it's kind of affecting my emotions and mood nowadays. Hey, this is a legitimate need for a lady or guy. God created both Adam and Eve so yes, there's a longing for a partner. But I am trying to let it not eat into my mood and emotions and cause unnecessary drift in my heart. Praying and still praying, trying not to lose h...

One prayer and that settles it..... An empty Saturday night passes me by as I write this blog. Hoping that I'd have a night out to fellowship like every other Saturdays but at las, I think the door has been shut. In fact, in my heart, I never really had the peace. In fact, I couldn't sleep on certain nights. Nevertheless, I thank God that He has brought some new friendships into my life. At least, He has brought me closer to my colleague and I hope I have made some impact and influences in her life. I wonder why it has never been my turn. Perhaps, maybe the plan for next year may have to come to pass. Well, let's pray and wait. BF is coming and I pray that God will give me a clearer direction in my life for 2009. I am not kiasu, the year is coming to an end. I really need Him to show me His will and direction for my life in 2009. It's crucial because it's a period of crossing over and transitional period as well. It's a shift and I really want to move out from w...

Sociophobia: Fear of social gatherings, fear of socializing, fear of embarrassment in social situations that is extremely intrusive and can have markedly debilitating effects on personal and professional relationships. Phobias are persistent, excessive, irrational fears of certain objects or situations. People plagued by phobias recognize that their fears may be outsized and unreasonable, but are unable to overcome them. They are essentially addicted to their fears. The signs and symptoms of sociophobia include blushing, sweating, trembling, rapid heartbeat, muscle tension, nausea or other stomach discomfort, lightheadedness, and other symptoms of anxiety. Untreated severe sociophobia may be disabling to a person's work, social and family relationships. In extreme cases, a sociophobe may begin to avoid all social situations and become housebound. Treatments for sociophobia include medications, a specific form of psychotherapy called cognitive-behavioral therapy, or a combination o...

Met up with my ex-colleague...... Got chided by her again which I know she did it out of love. Asked me to dress up more, meet up with people more, socialise, expose, blah blah blah.... everything that you can think of.... including losing weight..... I will try to dress up a little better as the days go by for the rest of the months. Losing weight? Haiz, I seriously don't eat alot. Sometimes I don't even eat my dinner! 2 meals a day sometimes is more than enough for me. Socialise and meeting people - sociophobic... that's what I told her. I get flabbergasted having to meet people - men and women but it's worst if I were to meet men. Haha..... So well, this will need a long time to work out and I better be fast before I become a spinster by next year! Ok... positive confession.... God is bringing that someone soon.... I will NOT be a spinster...

How do I be relevant? How do I keep up with times? How do I keep up with the world and not be influenced by its standards? How do I be relevant in speech? How do I be relevant in conduct? How do I be relevant to my peers/people above me? How do I be relevant to people from different backgrounds and different walks of life? Relevance - Was Jesus relevant to His people during His time on earth? How had he related or how had he learnt how to speak/relate to people who are so different from Him or His values? I am not an all-rounder and I am definitely not one who keeps up with fashion, news, etc. I am not into entertainment news which often is a gossip. I am not, I can become....... Putting aside my disinterests in these, perhaps I should step out of the comfort zone and learn about the things that I thought to be useless to know. How do I pull people into the kingdom? HOW? It really amazes me about the love that is at work in the lives of the taiwanese and I believe the same love in wor...

I am the firstborn of my parents. Genesis 27 v27b - Surely the smell of my son (firstborn) is like the smell of a field which the Lord has blessed . v28 - Therefore may God give you of the dew of heaven (anointing), (best/abundance), and fatness of the earth, plenty of grain and wine (prosperity). v29 - let peoples serve you , and the nations bow down to you . Be master over your brethren, and let your mother's sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you , and blessed be those who bless you !

Didn't hug my father.... Day 1, he went to work before I could even see him. Day 2, saw him but he was changing and i need to bathe. Now, I don't have the courage to hug him. It's an Asian culture, I guess..... But I did try to talk to him, he was too tired though and slept early. I have been trying to find testimonies of those who are healed by God for neurofibromatosis. It's a genetic disorder which I have. I have not thought of this before and only lament and feel why is it me? At times, I will forget about this condition, yet at times, I get frustrated with it. Somehow, I was reminded of the healing miracles that Jesus did 2, 000 years ago, not only that He is still doing miracles in the life of the individual. His work didn't stop 2K years ago, but His work began since 2K years ago, till His coming back. I want to claim that healing. I read about the stories of the old woman whose back was bent for 18 yrs, woman with the issue of blood for 12 years, lame man by...

Attended a wake tonight where celebrities appeared. Anyway, not the main point, haha.... Pst preached a message which touches the heart of many as well as myself. His message reminded me during the time I was young, when my father used to carry me, hug me and give me morning or night kisses until my poly years. We just had more and more conflicts and the ultimatum was in 2002, lasting till recent months. I felt that things between us have to be improved. I initiated to hook my arm around his on our way to my grandma's house during CNY early this year. Occasionally, I will just try to watch TV programs for awhile with him. Recently, I start to say goodbye to him before he goes off or I go off for work. Today Pst shared about giving a hug to the ones you love and care before you lose the chance to do so. In my heart, I felt that I should really start to learn to hug my dad. I know I will always be my dad's and mum's little girl. Nowadays, my mum will kiss me on my cheek befor...

Matthew 8:1-13 The Man With Leprosy 1 When he came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2 A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willin g, you can make me clean." 3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. " I am willing ," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy. 4 Then Jesus said to him, "See that you don't tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them." The Faith of the Centurion 5 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6 "Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering." 7 Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him." 8 The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word , and my servant will be healed. 9 For I myself am a man under authority, ...

Is that left-handed? hmmm it seems like the reflection of how I hold my guitar...

아름다우신 - Beautiful God Lyrics: Song of love, to You from deep within me There is an everesting song; For to me, You lavish wonderful love I will sing forevermore (x 2) I will sing forevermore So sweet in beauty, Above all wonders; words cannot dare describe Your love. Oh, great in glory, my God, my Father's love; I will sing forevermore. I will sing Your love shown on the cross The great love of salvation; I will give my life in praising Your name Your great and amazing love; I will sing forevermore So sweet in beauty, Above all wonders; words cannot dare describe Your love. Oh, great in glory, my God, my Father's love; I will sing forevermore. There is no one like You, Lord; no one else in this world, There is no one like You, Lord; no one can dare compares you; (x 2) So sweet in beauty, Above all wonders; words cannot dare describe Your love. Oh, great in glory, my God, my Father's love; I will sing forevermore. (Repeat till end)

Had a session with my leader and she spoke about confession which led to her talking about blogs. She mentioned about a friend's daughter whose blog brings encouragements because of her positive confession and sharing of God's promises, her vision and dreams. And she mentioned about the maturity comparing to some others whose blogs complains, criticise, arrowing others, etc. I start to wonder about mine. hmmm I admit mine is not all so positive and faith-building most of the times. Where's my maturity? Have I majored in what's temporal and minor in the promises of God? Malachi 3:6 For I am the Lord, I do not change Psalms 102 v25 - Of old You laid the foundation of the earth, and the heavens are the work of Your hands. v26 - They will perish, but You will continue; Yes, they will all grow old like a garment; Like a cloak You will change them, and they will be changed. v27 - But You are the same, And Your years will have no end. v28 - The children of Your servants will c...

I appreciate what church is doing for the singles but it's not a place where I will want to go and know people. I am not a very sociable person, nor am I person who really knows how to dress or network. I have told people that if I ever join any of the activities, I'd be like a wall paper. And I don't like to be a wall paper. I can never really make friends in a big group. I like to be personal, just a few, perhaps 3-4 persons gather together to chit-chat, catch a movie, etc. My leader spoke to me last night and wants to introduce me to someone because she doesn't feel comfortable with me going out with my new-found friends. I know her heart and I also know that she's taking my heart into consideration, knowing that I am a very fragile person. I should be happy which I was amused for a moment but felt sad after that. It dawned upon me why are people in the world so proactive? But in the spiritual family, actions are taken only when things have happened? If my friend...

I have been praying hard these days. Of course it's not about praying harder or whatever, but the faith to believe that whatever I pray will come to pass. I have been praying for open doors to invite my friends to outreach and also for their salvation. It's a huge burden that has caused my head to burst past few days before the ministering. I dolled up myself today before meeting my sec sch friends, in case, I need to go out in the night. I waited and waited while we were discussing, hoping that I will be going out tonight. At the end of the discussion, there was still not a single call or SMS. No mood, disheartened. Before departing with my good friend, I shared with her. I told her, I have no mood liao, lousy mood having to go back home. Felt lost because I have been going out the past few Saturdays. After sharing with her and talking about it, we departed for a min and the next moment I know, I had a missed call... :> It was nice to have a chat of about 10min. Like a litt...

Last Thurs, I met up with a Pastor from Indonesia - Pastor Freddy. My colleague had shared with me about his prophetic ministry. Even when he shared with me, I felt a tugging. Somehow, he asked me if I want to meet up with this Pastor. Of course! Why would I want to meet the man of God? And I got to meet him last Thur, finally! He was still ministering to a family when I entered the house. I think I waited for about an hr before he finally finished. It was 9pm and he hadn't taken his lunch nor dinner. We fellowshipping a little while he took his dinner. He was sharing how God showed him visions and one of them was 2 weeks before the tsunami, he has already seen a vision of that tsunami that would hit the region. He could only warn but not tell anyone directly. I was amazed. Suddenly, he asked me if I was badly hurt when I was 18/19 yrs. My jaw dropped! Of course, I was! And because of that incident, my early-twenties was spent in depression, distrust, hopelessness and despair. I wa...

By Y.W.A.M in South Korea One of the All nations and All races.. There's nothing that compares with His Name.. He is the only Our Hope in the Sinned and Dark World.. There's nothing that compares with Jesus.. Jesus be The Saviour of All races.. Wrong idoles beaten before His Foot.. Jesus The Glorious Name... I'll Praise Him.. He is the Origin and the Last.. Jesus The Glorious Name... I'll worship... Because He has saved all nations and races...