@lly's Haven

Definition of tarry intransitive verb 1a: to delay or be tardy in acting or doing 1b: to linger in expectation : WAIT 2: to abide or stay in or at a place Oct 2018 till Oct 2019, everything seems to happen only in October for some reasons. I met JQ in Oct 2017 and somehow felt some attraction. Then we got together in 2018 but broke up in Oct the same year. We met with the leaders in Mar 2019 and was told to wait for 6 months. That deadline was Oct 2019. I don't know why am I so controlled or so tormented with the fact that I need Cindy's approval. Would I rather break my own heart then hers? Or was it like what Sara says I want to have a form of guarantee or security. Is it because I don't want to take the responsibility of a mistake that I may make? Am I afraid to face the failure of the choice or decision that I make? If anything goes wrong, I have someone to blame? Or is it just the blessing and approval I want from someone who has helped me and walked with me f...

It's no doubt that I am struggling with my faith, with ministry, with my perception of ministry and who God is. I think to myself what is it that I am not letting go, why do I choose to hold back and why do I stand still at the same point?

Father, in the of Jesus, I believe that you are providing Your very best for Alison and that the man who will be united with Alison in marriage has awakened to righteousness.  Father, as You have rejoiced over Jerusalem, so shall the bridegroom rejoice over Alison.  Thank You, Father, that he will love Alison as Christ loves the Church.  He will nourish, carefully protect, and cherish Alison.   Father, I believe, because he is Your best, that doubts, wavering, and insincerity are not a part of him; but he speaks forth the oracles of God, acknowledging Your full counsel with all wisdom and knowledge.  He does not speak or act contrary to the Word.  He walks totally in love, esteeming and preferring other higher than himself.   Father, I believe that everything not of You shall be removed from Alison's life.  And I thank You for the perfecting of Your Word in her life that she may be thoroughly furnished unto all good works.   Father, I pr...

I was reading back the posts almost 8 years back and realised that even then, when I am discouraged, I always look back to the Word for strength and courage.  Trying to hang on the God's every word and believing with all my heart that things will be better, I will overcome and can overcome. Nightmares will be over and sweet dreams will over take. But now, I am totally running away, not willing to face Him nor my responsibilities as a child of God. I am wretched, and I need the realisation of the amazing grace of God and His patience. My stubbornness has led me into a lifestyle of rebellion and thus, witchcraft. 1 Samuel 15:23 New Living Translation (NLT) 23  Rebellion is as sinful as witchcraft,      and stubbornness as bad as worshiping idols. So because you have rejected the command of the  Lord ,      he has rejected you as king.” My mind has become dull as I allow faithless to c...

For twice over the weekend, I read about fasting. I think one was a past article by Pastor about the benefits and purpose of fasting, and the other was so happened that Pastor blogged about fasting again! For the whole of last year, I think I hardly fasted or maybe just once or twice but that was for the sake of doing it. But this time, I really want to stay focus and pray for healing, breakthrough and also more hunger for God. I have been following some of the tweeple, and felt that wow, I mean God is moving and how come MY spiritual clock seem to have stopped. Many distractions and also emotional baggages. Sometimes I am just too caught up with the world, my emotions, my needs, my wants, my dream, my desires. Yet, this person gave up his desire to fulfill a greater purpose and was filled with joy. So why am I striving? More and more, I felt meaningless about my life, and vague about my future. Do I have a future? I don't see it. I can't see as well. As I grow olde...

Newsong Irvine | {ME} Awaken Your Soul Pt. 5 "Prayer" [2010.03.14] from Newsong Church on Vimeo . Apparently, I think he's Van Ness Wu's spiritual mentor.

Nope, despite of my disappearing act, I have not backsliden. Just keeping low during the busy Dec mth, full of expectancy early Jan and a slightly depressed CNY. 12 Dec 08 - Celebrated Rina's BD 27 Dec 08 -Thanksgiving cum Dec babies birthday celebration 31 Dec 08 - A very quiet New Year's eve 2 Jan 09 - Meeting with my goodie good brothers (Photos uploaded) 10 Jan 09 - Met up with my sec sch friends for lunch @ YCK Sakura. Yucks, don't go there! The food sucks. Pardon my language but I don't usually do this because to me food is the same. They don't tast different to me unless it's yucky! After which, I went to the Aussie Open day to check out more on my university. Made my decision to go ahead with my plan for this year. In fact, I couldn't slee for the next few days. Prayed and seek God if this is the right decision and direction. He gave me many verses and encouragements. 1. I plan and He will direct my paths. 2. He spoke to me about financial break...

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It has been a great 5 days of conference with performances, talks and workshops; though I didn't get to attend any of the workshops. The speakers are fantastic bringing words of revelation/faith/transformation. Stepping out into the world as the good seeds and changing/transforming the tares through the caring system. It's amazing how one can make a difference and bring hope into the lives of many. Last night was the grand finale where Liu Geng Hong and JJ Lin came to perform and share a little of what they are doing. Little wonder why JJ is so popular among the young gals, he has such a baby face and when he smiles, it sends electrifying signal. haha... Very boyish and charismatic indeed. Liu Geng Hong's Video Clip JJ's Video Clip Pst Ulf has brought in a powerful message of walking with the Holy Spirit and setting yourself up in the culture with Holy Spirit because He lives in us. He is in us, not far, not out, not someone, but in us. Pst Phil gave power prophecies an...

I was doing some stuff in the night. It was quite a waste of time because of the "tortise" speed. Don't know why, but I just felt prompted to visit Joyce Meyer's website which I haven't been doing so for at least 2 months or longer. I went to the usual magazine page which no longer has HTML version so it took a little bit of time to download so I lost interest as well. There in the homepage, I saw this radio broadcast on "A Patient Attitude". So I thought might as well listen to something that feed the soul and listen to some other music. So while doing my stuff, the radion broadcast was sort of like a background music to keep me entertained. Blah, blah, blah.... then I heard "this is not my main message for today." So I switched off my listen ears. Blah, blah, blah.... PATIENCE IS A CHOICE. YOU CHOOSE TO BE PATIENT. Wa liew, I got a shock all of a sudden. This supposedly background "music" became so loud it caught my attention. I jus...

On Wed, I fasted and prayed together with a colleague. We were just sharing and prayed for one another. It's so wonderful to have someone like-minded to pray with. It has been a long time whom I have someone to pray together with. I mean I have the cg and members to pray during cg or service. But it's really different to have someone in your daily life to stand in the gap for one another, hand in hand. It felt a little awkward as we are still quite new to one another and it's like praying in the office at a hidden corner which is slightly exposed to the surrounding. We didn't know where to start from or how to start with our session. But my colleague, being the leader, started to share about what she read from "The Praying Woman" and we started to sure bits of our lives. And then move on to the areas we want to pray for one another. Thank God, somehow He led us naturally to a time of prayer. At the en d of the session which lasted about an hour, my colleague...

Yeah, God granted my wish and this week is another week of soaking in His presence in the corporate anointing. I overslept yesterday morning and I prayed last night that HS will wake me up today. He did.... Though it was still dark, but I really like to be in corporate anointing. Its very different from praying alone at home, atmosphere is different. I invited one of my colleagues to join me tomorrow at Outram since that's the nearest to her house and it's not too difficult to get there from my house and to office after that.0 First time going to Kreta Ayer for morning prayer, I hope that the presence of God is as strong as Singpost or even better.. :>

Got the letter of offer from CQU, I am hoping that I will get one from my alma mater though. Is it a good time to set off next year? I am really counting the costs. I do hope that God will somehow help to sponsor me once more for my studies like how He did for SOT and my degree. Only that this time, I really want to go over to Australia. Things may not be as I want it to be when I am over there, at least, I want to look back when I get older and know that I have taken some kind of risk for what I want to do in my life. Not sitting back, still sheltered and regretting for not taking the risk for what I want in my life. A&B is next week. I did my calculations on Sat nite and found that the realistic amount I can give is slashed by at least 50%. The spiritual amount has not been confirmed yet. To be honest, if I have the kind of money, I will definitely give whatever I can. Yet, I also know that faith is believing in the unseen. Blind faith is being presumptous, and that's unpleas...

Taking up ownership of what I am called to do and not denying what He has called me to do. Am I really called? All are called but not all are chosen. Why? Reasons could be the following: 1. Denial 2. Deception 3. Distraction 4. Death? When a person turn away and choose the path of darkness into death, he/she will not be chosen as well. The path to the heavenly gates is narrow but it keeps your path straight, the way down to the core of the earth is broad and brings many distractions that seem pleasurable to the eyes of men but ultimately destruction. Psalms 34 v4 - I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. v5 - Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. v6 - This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles. v7 - The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them. v8 - Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. v9 - Fear the...

One prayer and that settles it..... An empty Saturday night passes me by as I write this blog. Hoping that I'd have a night out to fellowship like every other Saturdays but at las, I think the door has been shut. In fact, in my heart, I never really had the peace. In fact, I couldn't sleep on certain nights. Nevertheless, I thank God that He has brought some new friendships into my life. At least, He has brought me closer to my colleague and I hope I have made some impact and influences in her life. I wonder why it has never been my turn. Perhaps, maybe the plan for next year may have to come to pass. Well, let's pray and wait. BF is coming and I pray that God will give me a clearer direction in my life for 2009. I am not kiasu, the year is coming to an end. I really need Him to show me His will and direction for my life in 2009. It's crucial because it's a period of crossing over and transitional period as well. It's a shift and I really want to move out from w...

I am the firstborn of my parents. Genesis 27 v27b - Surely the smell of my son (firstborn) is like the smell of a field which the Lord has blessed . v28 - Therefore may God give you of the dew of heaven (anointing), (best/abundance), and fatness of the earth, plenty of grain and wine (prosperity). v29 - let peoples serve you , and the nations bow down to you . Be master over your brethren, and let your mother's sons bow down to you. Cursed be everyone who curses you , and blessed be those who bless you !

Matthew 8:1-13 The Man With Leprosy 1 When he came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2 A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willin g, you can make me clean." 3 Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. " I am willing ," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy. 4 Then Jesus said to him, "See that you don't tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them." The Faith of the Centurion 5 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6 "Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering." 7 Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him." 8 The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word , and my servant will be healed. 9 For I myself am a man under authority, ...

Last Thurs, I met up with a Pastor from Indonesia - Pastor Freddy. My colleague had shared with me about his prophetic ministry. Even when he shared with me, I felt a tugging. Somehow, he asked me if I want to meet up with this Pastor. Of course! Why would I want to meet the man of God? And I got to meet him last Thur, finally! He was still ministering to a family when I entered the house. I think I waited for about an hr before he finally finished. It was 9pm and he hadn't taken his lunch nor dinner. We fellowshipping a little while he took his dinner. He was sharing how God showed him visions and one of them was 2 weeks before the tsunami, he has already seen a vision of that tsunami that would hit the region. He could only warn but not tell anyone directly. I was amazed. Suddenly, he asked me if I was badly hurt when I was 18/19 yrs. My jaw dropped! Of course, I was! And because of that incident, my early-twenties was spent in depression, distrust, hopelessness and despair. I wa...

As I played Walau Seribu Rebah with my guitar, I can't help it but I cried and cried. It has been some time I cried so terribly since few months back. I can't help it but I just felt God loving me, touching me, comforting me. It's like there's a river that has been blocked by a dam, the emotions just came gushing out as if the dam has been broken. It has always been in my heart and a concern, an intangible heavy stone that I don't take much note of. But God knows everything, He knows that I am very concerned and burdened. He knows me better than I know myself. I thought I know better but Jesus knows best. And I really hope that the people I have been going out with will be touched by God. But am I really doing the right thing, am I really impacting and influencing them? I have been praying every night for them, for God's love to touch them, to break every stronghold over their lives, that as I meet them, I will carry the presence of God. There's a hope which...