@lly's Haven

Maturity is to understand that you don't have to understand. Dr. Charles Farah Hebrews 11:6 But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. This is such a popular verse among churches or christians. "Without faith it is impossible to please Him.." But what caught my attention is the second part of the verse: "He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him" I haven't really been diligently seeking after my "Lover" for about 2 months or rather for years. I remember I used to long for Him, to seek after Him, talk and share, receiving and giving love to one another. Until anger and resentment stepped into the picture and I stopped talking to my "Lover". And yes, there was an emotional shutdown between the 2 of us and things never were the same again. Even now with the reconciliation, I felt that there could be some unreso...

Innocent Steps

Did pedicure after, hmm, months... I think my feet have skin thick like an elephant. Had laksa for dinner when I told myself not to eat but still... I felt so bloated I told myself maybe I should take a walk. Guess what? From bugis junction I walked to Prinsep St and on to Tekka, then to Serangoon Road where I stopped by Mustafa to enjoy cool air. Shoppped about 10min and continued the long stretch of Serangoon Road. It didn't seem as scary as I thought it'd be. I am not a racist definitely but I know how fierce that ethnic group can be when they are drunk. It's really scary because they turn violent. But then this happens to almost anyone. And when I passed by Farrer Park station, I was contemplating to take the quieter route which seemed like a short-cut. There was practically no one travelling along that path and I thought it's an adventure. Well sound silly, anyway, I took the main road still. Yet again, I saw another quiet route that leads to faraway HDB flats in f...

MV_Wonderful Life

Thank God for Blogs! I used to write my diary on papers, what a tiring process. Now that I get to type, it's so much faster. But of course there are pros and cons for blogging - you can less privacy. But anyway, who knows me? Except for my own friends and those who knows my blog. It is really a good way for expressing thoughts. A way of releasing whatever that is kept in the heart but unexpressable in front of others. There are somethings that just put into words even when you want to share. I guess this is a personality thingy. I feel that things are better written than spoken. Like what Dr AR Bernard shared on the 3rd part of his sermon - mid-life crisis. I haven't reach that age yet but I already felt the crisis years ago because of stagnancy in my life. Stagnant in my walk with God, relationship with people, in my emotions. Stagnant in my love life, family and church. Stagnant in career and finances. Stagnant in maturity and perception. I haven't felt that for the past ...

We need to make our choice and decision wisely because we live the consequence of the choice and decision we made. What is the basis of the choice and decision we make? Based on situation & circumstances or on emotions such as fear OR the lies of the devil OR the Hands of God? Dr A.R. Bernard: - Before an information can sink in, we need to listen to it 7 times. - 12 times of encourage before a negative remark can be erased from our memory. What does it mean to me? - Meditate the Word 7 times a day or 7 hours / Meditate on it 7 days a week - Only you can encourage yourself with the kind of thoughts you entertain. You can never depend on others. Ultimately, you decide whether to allow others to discourage you and allow God to encourage you. Knowledge translates to Authority Learning how to navigate in this world as a follower of Christ is still a lifestyle I've yet to grasp. To gain approval, often I will do as the world does. It's a foolish choice and eat of the consequence...

Jul Ban Ae Sarang

I thank God for the many friends whom He has placed in my life. I thank God for the friends who has played a role in my life, be it as a villain or as angel. I thank God for the friends who has encouraged, advised and stand by my side. But I need to apologise for my attitude of my past, especially to those when I was studying Poly. I am not one who knows how to build relationships. To me I can do and do without people, which of course, without people around me, then it will be lonesome. Relationships/friendships are very fragile. Perhaps there were many times when I show concern, either the person resist or glue to you. I don't like both. Perhaps it's my expectations and also my insecurity. Resistance and stickiness puts me off. Resistance, to me, is a sign of not trusting. Then the person can forget about me sharing as well. (Pride you say, whatever..) Stickiness, I am sorry, we are mature adults, stop behaving like a kid. We have our own life! So, I am an individualistic. I ...

A grateful heart filled with thanksgiving - With life's business and strife, do we still remember to have a heart of gratitude? Always remembering others - In this competitive & selfish society, do we still spare a thought for those around us? A broader view of life - Staying positive in a negative world. We all need to have a more positive outlook in life. Dreams of young - The dreams of young, are they just fleeting moments or are they for real? Are they just fantasies equivalent to building castles in the air? Bubbles that burst? Crushed spirit - Many a times, giving ourselves will bring only heartaches. How true can this statement be? In all things, there is only ONE reason why there are often uncertainties in life: VOID . There's a void, yearning for a deeper call, a deeper sense of importance. Nothing is new under the sun or in heaven, for all things are vanity. When you thought that you are the first, you are only the improvised. People always want to feel they ...

Miracles, Miracles, are they that afar? Miracle is for every day in the marketplace. Just like God's presence is with you every single day without cease. What makes or motivates miracles then? Faith. 1. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. 2. Faith comes with confession of the Word of God. 3. Faith comes when you know YOU are part of God's plan for miracles. 4. Faith comes when you are filled with the rivers of Living Water. A dry land can never produce "fishes", only an ocean. With faith, miracles will come into your life -work place, family, relationships, friendships...

1. Express It is important to have the ability to express yourself, your thoughts, emotions and dreams. However, it is important to be able to express your views explicitly without being offensive. It's time I learn to express myself. Especially expressing my thoughts and emotions. I am really bad at this and one of the main reasons is because I tend to get to emotionaly entangled while expressing. And I don't like to be emotional, getting angry/upset, whatever it may be. But I need to learn how to express in confidence. I need to build confidence, without the fear of appearing arrogant and proud. Anger Management is something I need to learn as well. How to get angry and get over with it and not holding on to the issues that caused the anger. It's never good to hold onto offenses and open the doors to allow the devil to have a foothold. It's foolishness and the other party get away scott-free. 2. Build friendships Trust... We often need to take risks when building frie...

Had a wonderful night on Friday evening at Makansutra and watching Pirates of the Carribbeans on Saturday morning, 1230am! Managed to get my brother to join us as well. He needs to catch on some fire from passionate and on-fire christians. The food at Makansutra really tastes delicious. It was an evening of divine appointments as well. Met 2 sec sch friends - one on the train and the other at Makansutra. :> Managed to get the contact of the latter. Then saw my ex-churchmate as well with his cg members. He's now working for Singapore Associate of Mental Health - a psychologist. Then saw many members pver there as well, fellowshipping. Managed to get Baoping at the eleventh-minute - She got saved today! Praise the Lord! Reached home at about 4am - thank God for my brother coz he rides a bike. Most of the gals reached home about 5+ in the morning. Slept till 1pm and had to drag my feet to ECP coz I promised Baoping to get go cycling with her. I haven't been to ECP for a long ti...

I am so happy! :> I bought a watch for my friend as a birthday present and he really wore it. I thought he'd not look up to this present since it doesn't really matches his status. After all, he's a boss of a company and knows many influential people. His cg alone has a number of high-ranking officers. I am glad that he actually accepted this humble present of mine. It's not very expensive. In fact, I think I bought it for less than 50 bucks. Ironically, when I gave him the watch, he told me he was looking for a watch as well! I guessed maybe it's Holy Spirit. When I went Israel, I wanted to buy the anointing oil. Rather I felt prompted but I didn't buy because logically, I don't have any need for that. It turned out that my friend has the intention to ask me buy but didn't want to call me because of the HP costs I have to bear. But overall, I am really happy that he accepted this humble present of mine!

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love, Where there is injury, pardon Where there is doubt, faith, Where there is despair, hope, Where there is darkness, light, Where there is sadness, joy. O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console, not so much to be understood as to understand, not so much to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, it is in dying that we awake to eternal life. - St. Francis of Assisi

Met a friend this morning who told me that my English is slacking. Ironic thing is I am working in a division where 90% of my colleagues are caucasians! My English IQ dropped by at least 50% because of the influence of Singlish and 80% of my friends communicate in Mandarin. I have lost the comfort and confidence in communicating in English. Totally ashamed! But thank God, I think I should write pretty well in my favorite language without any bombastic or profound words that is. My standard is still at secondary level despite of being highly educated if a degree is considered to be at the level. I hope to do my Masters soon and if I ever go over to Australia, I'd study full time and work part time. It's going be quite an experience, to get a culture shock. But then who cares, I'd be going to my favorite country and favorite city, Melbourne. I do hope my cousin gets a PR there this year, who knows, I'd be next to go. Call me irresponsible, childish, unfilial, whatever. I...

Lyrics: Come notice me And take my hand So why are we Strangers when Our love is strong Why carry on without me? And everytime I try to fly I fall without my wings I feel so small I guess I need you baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you baby I make believe That you are here It's the only way I see clear What have I done You seem to move on easy And everytime I try to fly I fall without my wings I feel so small I guess I need you baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you baby I may have made it rain Please forgive me My weakness caused you pain And this song is my sorry Ohhhh At night I pray That soon your face Will fade away And everytime I try to fly I fall without my wings I feel so small I guess I need you baby And everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face, it's haunting me I guess I need you baby After all... After all...

How Great Is Our God

My brother was saying I haven't been doing anything constructive today. I have been watching videos on Korean pop star Lee Dong Gun. A suave young man and I love his smile. I like men who are steady, mature and cool! Well that's a figment of a gal's imagination. So I decided to watch something constructive to my spirit and found this music video. Slow but very nice. By Delirious Enjoy!

T he greatest disease is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair and hopelessness is LOVE. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread, but there are many more dying for a little love. Mother Theresa Many have settled for the intellectual knowledge of belonging, without ever pursuing the reality of interaction with Him (God) in the moment. So deeply embedded in the concept of salvation that few go any further. They've said their prayers and will one day die and go to be with Him. Yet, the reality of Christ is missed, and the power revelation of God's desire to walk with us is lost. Excerpts from "Drawing Near", John Bevere