Desperation

Just had a call with someone I got to know online. And it makes me think there many who are consumed by their physical desires that they are not listening or just give in to their flesh.

It's a kind of selfishness when you insist on having your way and making the other person uncomfortable or ignoring the other person's feeling.

One thing I have learnt when I met a guy in taiwan, despite the fact that he is rather keen or has the need to release his desires, he didn't insist or force his will on me. Thank God for that! Probably the Almighty helped curb the fire within the guy.

But the local guys here, there hasn't been one who knows how to respect me. Not sure for whatsoever reason, they have no manners in either treating me right or rejecting me in the right way. Not that I want to carry this disgusted perception of the guys here, but time and again, I have been disappointed and let down. When I think this is the most normal man I have met by far after a long while, somehow an act by the guy sort of brings me back to that same disappointment and distaste in them.

I somehow subtly look down and despise many of my male counterparts. I respect them as a person but despise them for not acting like a gentleman but a beast in disguise in every way possible, be it outwardly or subtly shown by their behaviors.

Perhaps this perception I have of them has killed my every hope of meeting the One.

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