Yakking
It's a day where I had so many people talking about singlehood and marriage. Socialise, make more friends, know new people, dieting so look better, slimming to look pretty, blind dates....
Haiz, what's with the today's theme? It seem like I have lived a themed day. Even Channel 5, PM Lee is talking about singlehood and marriage.
Yes, I do hope to be attached and yes, I do hope to get married; yes, I want to have a family with a minimum of 2 kids.
I used to get depressed when all these become dimmer as I grow older. My CGL will know best because she has seen me getting emotional and depressed about singlehood and the inability to see the bright future.
I still can't but I am not very affected by this fact now compared to the past. In fact, the desire seem to have died down a little or rather, alot? I don't know. To me, I have pass the stage of allowing this stupid thing to affect me and ruin a quarter of my life.
Thank God, I have walked out of it instead of continuing living in stupidity, allowing my emotions to play me around.
Honestly, when I told my friend I seem to be losing the desire, he was very concerned. Well, I guess when I have passed the desirable age to be married, I just simply no longer hold onto it. It becomes something that I can and can do without. In the past, it was something I cannot do without because I really desire to have a family.
Crossing the 3 mark next year, have made this desire of mine somehow dissolve bit by bit. As more of my friends get married this year, I just give up hoping and searching. If it comes, it comes and if it doesn't better still, if God allows, I will just go ahead with my plan next year.
I wonder if my singlehood has anything to do with my plan next year. Only God knows the timing for everything. If I were to be really married at my ideal age, I'd probably not go ahead with any plans and I won't have this Korean trip which has allowed me to see God's work in the lives of the people and the ministry they are involved.
Next year is a crucial year for me besides crossing the 3 mark, I need to make some major decisions. If I make a wrong move presumptously, I guess this will be the ultimatum miss of the Kairos timing. If this happens, I don't know what will happen to me or what I will do. May the grace of God be upon me, amen and amen.
I really want to do something while I can but that's provided that this is something that God really wants me to do. If this is so, I pray that He will provide for me as how He has provided me for SOT. Not in the same way because I don't want to be retrenched for the 3rd time, it's a total humiliation to be retrenched for a 3rd time. How will it reflect on my resume in the future?
If they allow me to take a sabbatical leave of a year, as in the States, it will be really great!
There's too many people yakking at me recently even my colleague spoke to me about it today. It doesn't seem many but from yesterday till today, that's enough.
I wonder if it's a family thingy, but apparently my aunts and cousin all pass that stage having the desire to be married. They are happily single, no worries to support a family, do what they want like travel, pamper themselves, etc. Well, they earn more than me. If i were to have family, I probably either be pulling my hair or be more spiritual than before as I see the hands of God move.
Well whatever it is, I can no longer see the bright future of a marriage as before and thus, this could be the main reason why the desire died off. Correction, "is dying off". White flag up....
Haiz, what's with the today's theme? It seem like I have lived a themed day. Even Channel 5, PM Lee is talking about singlehood and marriage.
Yes, I do hope to be attached and yes, I do hope to get married; yes, I want to have a family with a minimum of 2 kids.
I used to get depressed when all these become dimmer as I grow older. My CGL will know best because she has seen me getting emotional and depressed about singlehood and the inability to see the bright future.
I still can't but I am not very affected by this fact now compared to the past. In fact, the desire seem to have died down a little or rather, alot? I don't know. To me, I have pass the stage of allowing this stupid thing to affect me and ruin a quarter of my life.
Thank God, I have walked out of it instead of continuing living in stupidity, allowing my emotions to play me around.
Honestly, when I told my friend I seem to be losing the desire, he was very concerned. Well, I guess when I have passed the desirable age to be married, I just simply no longer hold onto it. It becomes something that I can and can do without. In the past, it was something I cannot do without because I really desire to have a family.
Crossing the 3 mark next year, have made this desire of mine somehow dissolve bit by bit. As more of my friends get married this year, I just give up hoping and searching. If it comes, it comes and if it doesn't better still, if God allows, I will just go ahead with my plan next year.
I wonder if my singlehood has anything to do with my plan next year. Only God knows the timing for everything. If I were to be really married at my ideal age, I'd probably not go ahead with any plans and I won't have this Korean trip which has allowed me to see God's work in the lives of the people and the ministry they are involved.
Next year is a crucial year for me besides crossing the 3 mark, I need to make some major decisions. If I make a wrong move presumptously, I guess this will be the ultimatum miss of the Kairos timing. If this happens, I don't know what will happen to me or what I will do. May the grace of God be upon me, amen and amen.
I really want to do something while I can but that's provided that this is something that God really wants me to do. If this is so, I pray that He will provide for me as how He has provided me for SOT. Not in the same way because I don't want to be retrenched for the 3rd time, it's a total humiliation to be retrenched for a 3rd time. How will it reflect on my resume in the future?
If they allow me to take a sabbatical leave of a year, as in the States, it will be really great!
There's too many people yakking at me recently even my colleague spoke to me about it today. It doesn't seem many but from yesterday till today, that's enough.
I wonder if it's a family thingy, but apparently my aunts and cousin all pass that stage having the desire to be married. They are happily single, no worries to support a family, do what they want like travel, pamper themselves, etc. Well, they earn more than me. If i were to have family, I probably either be pulling my hair or be more spiritual than before as I see the hands of God move.
Well whatever it is, I can no longer see the bright future of a marriage as before and thus, this could be the main reason why the desire died off. Correction, "is dying off". White flag up....
