Counselling Session
It so happened I met one of poly friends while on my way to take the train home after gym.
We started chatting and she shared with me about meeting a guy. She's afraid of letting too much of her emotions in as the guy is a non Christian and she was hurt before.
She wants to go out with him a few times and invite him to church. And if he doesn't want to go church with her, she will cut off the friendship completely. Ah yo, how can? I told her if she was the unbeliever and someone does that to her, how stumbling can it be?!?!
I told her she can still keep the friendship, you won't know the timing of God and how He will work through you to the person! We are ambassadors of Christ and represent God to a certain degree. How we treat others, what we say/do, there are people watching. They may not be believers, but through our daily lifestyle, speech and the way we handle things, people is searching for God.
The once in life time experience helped me to counsel quite a number of people on relationships. I was never in a r/s before but then what happened in the past has allowed me to advise female friends who are afraid to be hurt, mislead, etc.
For this friend, she said she wants to cut off the r/s if the guy doesn't want to follow her to church, I told her it's for her to manage her emotions and how she handle it. We know the truth, we know what it means not to be unequally yoked. But non-believers don't know and won't understand, it will leave a big question mark in their head, probably stumbled and having a distorted impression of who God is.
Like her, I used to cut off friendships with unbelieving male friends. However, through the years, I have seen how God bring people together, His timing and how He actually moved in the lives of the different couples. So I believe, we can keep the friendship and if there is attraction, pray through and trust God. Meanwhile, guard our hearts because as females, we tend to be very vulnerable but with H/S, He is able to protect us as we keep relying on Him for strength.
I have learnt and observed through the years, and have become wiser in handling emotions and people.
This friend has been asking God for a partner, so she seemed to almost jumping into this friendship. I told her excitement is NOT equal to liking this person. After so many years not keeping in contact, they finally met each other at a friend's wedding, how much does she know him? I can understand the excitement, because it seems like this guy is a potential. So what! Everything needs to be slow and steady, get to know the guy, go out in pairs or group. See how he treats others or your friends. This is the time the true character will be displayed.
I advised her however, not to get single female friends to go out in group, get people who are attached. In the past, I have only learnt about not going out with guys alone but it was the precious lesson that taught me also to be smart. Go out in groups or with friends who are attached together with the potential partner.
When it comes to finding a partner, females tend to be emotionally and visually(actions)-led. But the males test waters and withdraw as and when they have logically analysed. It's easy for them since they are the pursuers. But in the midst of testing waters, their pro-activeness can mislead the females.
Hope things will work out well for this friend of mine and also take this opportunity to reach out to this guy. God has His timing and reason that this particular guy enter into her life at this moment.
We started chatting and she shared with me about meeting a guy. She's afraid of letting too much of her emotions in as the guy is a non Christian and she was hurt before.
She wants to go out with him a few times and invite him to church. And if he doesn't want to go church with her, she will cut off the friendship completely. Ah yo, how can? I told her if she was the unbeliever and someone does that to her, how stumbling can it be?!?!
I told her she can still keep the friendship, you won't know the timing of God and how He will work through you to the person! We are ambassadors of Christ and represent God to a certain degree. How we treat others, what we say/do, there are people watching. They may not be believers, but through our daily lifestyle, speech and the way we handle things, people is searching for God.
The once in life time experience helped me to counsel quite a number of people on relationships. I was never in a r/s before but then what happened in the past has allowed me to advise female friends who are afraid to be hurt, mislead, etc.
For this friend, she said she wants to cut off the r/s if the guy doesn't want to follow her to church, I told her it's for her to manage her emotions and how she handle it. We know the truth, we know what it means not to be unequally yoked. But non-believers don't know and won't understand, it will leave a big question mark in their head, probably stumbled and having a distorted impression of who God is.
Like her, I used to cut off friendships with unbelieving male friends. However, through the years, I have seen how God bring people together, His timing and how He actually moved in the lives of the different couples. So I believe, we can keep the friendship and if there is attraction, pray through and trust God. Meanwhile, guard our hearts because as females, we tend to be very vulnerable but with H/S, He is able to protect us as we keep relying on Him for strength.
I have learnt and observed through the years, and have become wiser in handling emotions and people.
This friend has been asking God for a partner, so she seemed to almost jumping into this friendship. I told her excitement is NOT equal to liking this person. After so many years not keeping in contact, they finally met each other at a friend's wedding, how much does she know him? I can understand the excitement, because it seems like this guy is a potential. So what! Everything needs to be slow and steady, get to know the guy, go out in pairs or group. See how he treats others or your friends. This is the time the true character will be displayed.
I advised her however, not to get single female friends to go out in group, get people who are attached. In the past, I have only learnt about not going out with guys alone but it was the precious lesson that taught me also to be smart. Go out in groups or with friends who are attached together with the potential partner.
When it comes to finding a partner, females tend to be emotionally and visually(actions)-led. But the males test waters and withdraw as and when they have logically analysed. It's easy for them since they are the pursuers. But in the midst of testing waters, their pro-activeness can mislead the females.
Hope things will work out well for this friend of mine and also take this opportunity to reach out to this guy. God has His timing and reason that this particular guy enter into her life at this moment.
