夜深了

夜深了，为什么我还没睡呢？越来越想要出国，看看已久不见的世界。

好久没出国了，多么希望每年都可以出一次国。戴在这里太久，觉得好闷，好无聊也很无趣。是不是因为没看到世界，没什么常识，所以才觉得我的世界很渺小.

总觉得我好像是从外星来的,感想,看法,思想都和平常人不一样.是我成长的时候除了问题吗?还是我想得太复查了呢?还是读的故事书太多了,分不清什么是事实,什么是幻想? 这二十多年来,我活在自己的世界吗,在自己的美丽与完美的世界吗?

对我来说,我小时候认识的世界是从圣经.还是我太无知了,把神经所讲得都当成美丽世界来看待.所以把现实生活给混乱了,现在不能接受？

我想我现在的情绪很不稳定，真的需要离开这里。到外边感受新生活，新空气，放松心情。我所看到的不是全部，也不是一切。这世界很广阔，也很大。要认识，要学习的，要看的事物实在太多了。我的思想也要跟着阔大。

现在要努力储蓄，才能实现我已久的梦想。Aja, Aja! Fighting!

Popular posts from this blog

Mixed Emotions

Emotional? Disappointment? Resentment? A heavy heart. This is a year of good news for many of my single friends even celebrities who were single for a long time. Met up with a friend whom I hardly met since Covid. Today we met up and she introduced her boyfriend. Happy for her though I was surprised. The next bomb was she is getting married in November. Definitely happy for her, but I felt this extreme loneliness and again, likes an unwanted or neglected child. I admit that I am not fervent in praying in this area of my life nor any areas of my life. Except an occasionally whisper to express how I feel, my concerns about work or my mum. Is my miracle on my way or am I damned to singlehood? Am I truly enjoying my freedom or am I just trying to survive through. There is a sense of deep sadness but there are no tears. 1I once experienced in what I thought was a miracle, like finally, God You remember me. I was truly happy and blissful but I probably blew everything away in the m...
Read more

Update for Q1 2018

It has been a journey since beginning of this year. In fact, I thank God for the healing sessions end of 2017 before Sep. I have been going for healing sessions with cornerstone and have been greatly ministered to. Release of the pressures and stress of life since my youth when I had to near all the brunt of my father and take up the responsibilities of my mum's inability to be a housewife. The loneliness and rejection that I had to go through during the last trimester of my mum's pregnancy while staying with my god grandma. It was a great relief and deliverance and reassurance of His unconditional love for me. He will never leave me nor forsake me. Since then I felt so much lighter about myself and about life. The oppression and your was broken off from me. Now I felt that things are progressing. I started to join a ministry - Greeters - and have been involved for the past 2 weeks. My first start was back at Jurong west. For the past month, quite unbelievably, I ha...
Read more

27th Jan: Holocaust Memorial Day

Image
Source: http://www.israelnewsagency.com/yadvashemholocaustisraelnew88480313.html Source:photos/images/Pol-jew2.jpg Sunday marks the day for International Holocaust Memorial Day. Personally having visited the Holocause Museum (Yad Vashem) in Israel, it is definitely the saddest and darkest period for the Jews. Anti-semitism is indeed a scary belief and practice which is demonic, that can only explain the degree of cruelty that no mankind can ever imagine. Who would tear apart an infant who is less than a year old? Who exterminate an entire nation of Jews? Why is that only the chosen nation suffers such violence? This is no work of the human mind and act except for the devil. May Israel be greatly blessed and be a light that shines forth so brightly. They have proved themselves to arise and soar above the darkest history. I guess probably because their experience with Holocaust, they are able to better protect themselves, having excellent security measures and military advancements. G...
Read more