Thoughts during CNY 2008
Every year is the same for me. Going to my grandma's place for reunion on the Eve, 1st day family outing, 2nd day family gathering at my maternal aunt's place and 3rd day gather at friend's house if there is any.
But this year, I felt a little more emotional. Felt so alone when every one has their own programs or own friends to go out with. Most of my friends are attached and the others, I am not too sure. I have a revelation today.
Though I know quite a number of people, but I felt the depth isn't there! Even now with my good friend because there was no consistent communication. Or perhaps I don't have the right perception what a friendship is really about?
Sometimes, I felt that it's pride on my part. I hardly call others to communicate, I just feel weird to call someone to talk unless it's like arranging to go out, meet up, etc. Not only my pride, I think it's also the confidence. I always feel that people won't have time for me.
Talking about it now, I think it's not really pride. I remembered that I used to call others, but they were often disengaged in the talk, or distance or simply too busy to stop and catch up. I guess since then I just don't call others.
Maybe I am the only one with too much time on hand while others have their own stuff to do.
No, this year I need to pray up on my confidence. I have hid myself for too long, and it's time to step out like I used to and even stronger.
I am waiting for the timing and opportunity.
Another revelation that I have of why people are so disconnected with one another or self-involved is because of technology. Everything has become so convenient through internet that you no longer need to connect with people to gain information. Of course this doesn't apply to every one, but I just felt that this is the social trend in Singapore.
Everyone stays in his/her own box/room, facing the computer - playing games, downloading, watching shows. If you are in balance then it's fine. If you are out of balance, you get disconnected with family. Perhaps this is also a partial why family conflicts arise because of the lack of communication and human touch.
Will my children want to communicate with the computer more than me in future? Will this society lose the human touch and have more of technology touch?
Disconnection with the people around is rather unhealthy. Makes one to be less aware of the surroundings and also what's going on out there, thus becoming more self-centered. Self-centered as in looking more to your own needs, wants, desires, weaknesses, strengths - it's just all about self.
Perhaps taking out a little of your time to meet up with friends rather than just through MSN will be a better way of getting connected. You never really know what the other person really feels or thinks until you look at their facial expression and body language, listen to their tone of voice. The presence makes a greater difference than just words of encouragement through MSN or other form of internet communication.
Will my friends have time for me when I need them? Or will sending an email or talking through MSN save them time to meet up? I guess a short phone call will help better even if there's no time to meet?
Well, I just felt these while walking home for those 2 nights. Just felt that friendships these days are rather fragile.
Again, it goes back to my revelation:
The level or depth of a friendship depends on how much you allow others into your life and how much you want to be involved in the other person's life.
It takes 2 hands to clap. You want to know others love you, share your life with them. You want to have friends, be involved in their lives and love them.
I have ever tried to be involved with other friends' life but they shut me off. Now that I want to be involved with others, these bad experiences haunt me. haizzzzzzzzz, Lord, I need confidence and boldness.
But this year, I felt a little more emotional. Felt so alone when every one has their own programs or own friends to go out with. Most of my friends are attached and the others, I am not too sure. I have a revelation today.
The level or depth of a friendship depends on how much you allow others into your life and how much you want to be involved in the other person's life.Allowing others to be a part of your life and to be a part of others' life involves risk. There is no perfect person so there won't be a perfect friend. You have to be prepared to have both good times and bad times. There will be bound to have agreements and conflicts but that's one we learn from one another and gain life experiences.
Though I know quite a number of people, but I felt the depth isn't there! Even now with my good friend because there was no consistent communication. Or perhaps I don't have the right perception what a friendship is really about?
Sometimes, I felt that it's pride on my part. I hardly call others to communicate, I just feel weird to call someone to talk unless it's like arranging to go out, meet up, etc. Not only my pride, I think it's also the confidence. I always feel that people won't have time for me.
Talking about it now, I think it's not really pride. I remembered that I used to call others, but they were often disengaged in the talk, or distance or simply too busy to stop and catch up. I guess since then I just don't call others.
Maybe I am the only one with too much time on hand while others have their own stuff to do.
No, this year I need to pray up on my confidence. I have hid myself for too long, and it's time to step out like I used to and even stronger.
I am waiting for the timing and opportunity.
Another revelation that I have of why people are so disconnected with one another or self-involved is because of technology. Everything has become so convenient through internet that you no longer need to connect with people to gain information. Of course this doesn't apply to every one, but I just felt that this is the social trend in Singapore.
Everyone stays in his/her own box/room, facing the computer - playing games, downloading, watching shows. If you are in balance then it's fine. If you are out of balance, you get disconnected with family. Perhaps this is also a partial why family conflicts arise because of the lack of communication and human touch.
Will my children want to communicate with the computer more than me in future? Will this society lose the human touch and have more of technology touch?
Disconnection with the people around is rather unhealthy. Makes one to be less aware of the surroundings and also what's going on out there, thus becoming more self-centered. Self-centered as in looking more to your own needs, wants, desires, weaknesses, strengths - it's just all about self.
Perhaps taking out a little of your time to meet up with friends rather than just through MSN will be a better way of getting connected. You never really know what the other person really feels or thinks until you look at their facial expression and body language, listen to their tone of voice. The presence makes a greater difference than just words of encouragement through MSN or other form of internet communication.
Will my friends have time for me when I need them? Or will sending an email or talking through MSN save them time to meet up? I guess a short phone call will help better even if there's no time to meet?
Well, I just felt these while walking home for those 2 nights. Just felt that friendships these days are rather fragile.
Again, it goes back to my revelation:
The level or depth of a friendship depends on how much you allow others into your life and how much you want to be involved in the other person's life.
It takes 2 hands to clap. You want to know others love you, share your life with them. You want to have friends, be involved in their lives and love them.
I have ever tried to be involved with other friends' life but they shut me off. Now that I want to be involved with others, these bad experiences haunt me. haizzzzzzzzz, Lord, I need confidence and boldness.
