Many feelings going through
Just finished attending an ex colleague's wedding @ Holiday Inn, Havelock.
I was all alone with a table of the groom's friend, ironically. Don't know why either since I am a friend of the bride's. But I am easy-going and so are the groom's friends so we chatted. An interesting fact is that out of the 8 guests excluding myself - 3 married, 2 going to be, 3 attached. It's interesting to me because the ratio in church and ratio of the people in the world has such a vast difference.
Is it because we have God so we don't need people in our lives? Or it 's just that we are contented with the presence of God that we don't need anyone else?
Typing away and listening to Canon D (my fav classical), I just felt and thought why is this so? Many a times, is it because of ourselves or is it that we are waiting for God to drop from heaven the right person?
I don't know. One thing I know this is not everything in life, there are many other things in life - friendships, family, kinships, lives that are not saved, the kingdom.
So easy to say but personally, I want to give up. I asked myself why do I subject myself to such emotional turmoil? Unwanted emotions that just keep going on and on. A trap that I set for myself. I felt I put myself up for a trap for the 2nd time.
I need to stop putting myself in such a trap, it's just so frustrating and I am pissed with myself. F*****g pissed. So pissed. Bloody pissed. PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, it just so happened this way. I just need to learn that it's part of growing up and learning life. There's always a reason for things to happen the way they are. Perhaps that's why God wants to remind us that all things work for the good for those who love Him , according to His will and purpose.
I was all alone with a table of the groom's friend, ironically. Don't know why either since I am a friend of the bride's. But I am easy-going and so are the groom's friends so we chatted. An interesting fact is that out of the 8 guests excluding myself - 3 married, 2 going to be, 3 attached. It's interesting to me because the ratio in church and ratio of the people in the world has such a vast difference.
Is it because we have God so we don't need people in our lives? Or it 's just that we are contented with the presence of God that we don't need anyone else?
Typing away and listening to Canon D (my fav classical), I just felt and thought why is this so? Many a times, is it because of ourselves or is it that we are waiting for God to drop from heaven the right person?
I don't know. One thing I know this is not everything in life, there are many other things in life - friendships, family, kinships, lives that are not saved, the kingdom.
So easy to say but personally, I want to give up. I asked myself why do I subject myself to such emotional turmoil? Unwanted emotions that just keep going on and on. A trap that I set for myself. I felt I put myself up for a trap for the 2nd time.
I need to stop putting myself in such a trap, it's just so frustrating and I am pissed with myself. F*****g pissed. So pissed. Bloody pissed. PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, it just so happened this way. I just need to learn that it's part of growing up and learning life. There's always a reason for things to happen the way they are. Perhaps that's why God wants to remind us that all things work for the good for those who love Him , according to His will and purpose.
