Fear Not

Hm.... it's going to be vision weekend next week. Over the years, I am growing more fearful of this season. I know I shouldn't be. It seems like the older I am, the lesser faith I have in giving. I guess as I grow older, I want to keep more for myself instead of giving to God.

I guess the verse be anxious for nothing can be put into use in this area as well. This time round I better not be HL and put in an amount more than I can give. But sometimes the statistics in church really scares me, I wonder do they take the average Singaporean's salary or those who are higher paid like management level. Sometimes giving less than what the stats show seems like a faithless act to me. I really question the stats though. Sigh...

I guess it's personally hearing from HS, better clean my ears and don't commit the same mistake. For the first time (I think), I didn't manage to fulfil my building fund the last season. So discouraged! When I was in SOT, no matter how down and out I was, I managed to fulfil my building fund. I think during that year, I pledged the highest amongst all the years of building fund.

Can't help but keep sighing. There are things which I want to do but again, perhaps I should trust in His provision....... Tough to trust but I need to break through this fear and find the joy of giving to my Provider again.

In fact, God spoke to me in this area since last week. Yes, I may tithe, give offering but I have to give with expectation that God is going to move in the spiritual realm. My attiude of giving is like: Oh, time to give my tithe. Give lor... it's in the bible.

I give out of obedience but no expectation. I guess God wants us to expect something from Him ba.... Not out of greed but out of faith that MY giving is going to move His hands in some ways.
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Met my good friend after service. Ah yo... that hiao ta bo, did something to his teeth. I prefer his original set, smile is so much more nicer!

I remember I used to call him the squirrel and he would call me Hamster. The growing up years we have together, I am really glad to have him during those years. Thank God for him! I wouldn't know how I could have survived without this friendship in church.

Though we don't share much now and rarely meet up, but at least he was a part of my life when I needed most. I guess perhaps both of us are "S" so we tend to click better than those "Ds".

Well we are in our next season so it's a good thing we are in different cgs now. Otherwise, I don't think we will be able to move out of each other's shadow and serve effectively.

I think we were only separated for a brief 1 year when we knew each other for 6 years. And the big separation came in 2004 when I came into Cindy's cg.

Missed the times when we communicated between ourselves in sign languages (only 2 of us knew sign then). Those were the days! haha....

Well, I hope that he will be able to step up to another level and not be stucked because of what people has said or done. Am I talking about myself too?? hmmm....

God knows how to place the different friends in different seasons of our lives. There was a season it was Stanley, then for a short while Mary, Cat during SOT, RZ after that, next was Joy, another short while with Ah Ca & Audrey, then Cindy, now.... hmmm... well.... maybe the one who reads my blog?

We don't keep much contact with each other now, but I know that if need be, they will be my listening ears. :-) I'd be theirs too, definitely!

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