2 Days Past.....
2 days has gone by after that conversation........
Something has broken through and again, I really thank him from the depth of my heart. I release myself from the regret and the choice I have made. I forgive myself for giving up. I just felt released from that regret and the unforgiveness that was hidden towards myself.
I think I cannot thank God enough for that night. I am ready to move on. And as I prepare myself, I believe (hopefully) that the next Best will come. I feel just so light now, so very light. There's a joy which I haven't felt for a long time.
Tonight, I helped a friend to play for their cg. It has been a long long time since I played for them. In the past, whenever I played for them, I just feel so stressed. I just felt there many technicals that I need to take note of, kinda controlled.
But I came tonight with the intention to bless and to minister. Of course not myself who minister but wanting God to minister to this group of friends whom I haven't met for a long time.
It was a good time of worship and laughter. I believe that the joy of the Lord has ministered to the souls and spirit of the people. It was really very different. I am happy for them. Sometimes, we just need that special touch besides of the presence of "someone out there..."
The special touch is so vital at times when there's a drought. The drought that makes you feel that you cannot go on, that you think that there's no way you can go through that. It's a horrible feeling and an indescribable loneliness that creeps over.
I have a feeling that I will go back to the happy "me" soon. The joy that I used to have when I first fell in love with the Lord. He was the One and my Everything.
I want to redirect the love to Him instead of to the next Best. We cannot meet one another's needs because we are selfish being after all. But if our needs are met by Jesus, then we will be able to contain each other despite of our weaknesses.
hmmm... But there's one thing I need to work on - friendships. Weakest area because I like to be alone but I don't mind being a friend to another. haha... Cause I won't bother them and I like to be a listener so they can come and bother me. hmmm.....
Something has broken through and again, I really thank him from the depth of my heart. I release myself from the regret and the choice I have made. I forgive myself for giving up. I just felt released from that regret and the unforgiveness that was hidden towards myself.
I think I cannot thank God enough for that night. I am ready to move on. And as I prepare myself, I believe (hopefully) that the next Best will come. I feel just so light now, so very light. There's a joy which I haven't felt for a long time.
Tonight, I helped a friend to play for their cg. It has been a long long time since I played for them. In the past, whenever I played for them, I just feel so stressed. I just felt there many technicals that I need to take note of, kinda controlled.
But I came tonight with the intention to bless and to minister. Of course not myself who minister but wanting God to minister to this group of friends whom I haven't met for a long time.
It was a good time of worship and laughter. I believe that the joy of the Lord has ministered to the souls and spirit of the people. It was really very different. I am happy for them. Sometimes, we just need that special touch besides of the presence of "someone out there..."
The special touch is so vital at times when there's a drought. The drought that makes you feel that you cannot go on, that you think that there's no way you can go through that. It's a horrible feeling and an indescribable loneliness that creeps over.
I have a feeling that I will go back to the happy "me" soon. The joy that I used to have when I first fell in love with the Lord. He was the One and my Everything.
I want to redirect the love to Him instead of to the next Best. We cannot meet one another's needs because we are selfish being after all. But if our needs are met by Jesus, then we will be able to contain each other despite of our weaknesses.
hmmm... But there's one thing I need to work on - friendships. Weakest area because I like to be alone but I don't mind being a friend to another. haha... Cause I won't bother them and I like to be a listener so they can come and bother me. hmmm.....
