Affection ~ Affected?
~ an emotion that derives from the recognition of one's own values in the character of another.
American psychologist Henry Murray (1893–1988) developed a theory of personality that was organized in terms of motives, presses, and needs. According to Murray, these psychogenic needs function mostly on the unconscious level, but play a major role in our personality. Murray classified five affection needs:
- Affiliation: Spending time with other people.
- Nurturance: Taking care of another person.
- Play: Having fun with others.
- Rejection: Rejecting other people.
- Succorance: Being helped or protected by others
Should one's character be affected by the people around them? Isn't affection an emotion that is ignited by the love that one has for others instead one that is triggered by others? And why should one be affected by the people around him/her?
I guess it's a personal choice and perception. It just irks me and repulses me to lose oneself in the midst of trying to please others, meeting the expectations of the other party, trying to be someone else that others accept, seeking approval through conformation.
At the end of life, you lose so much of yourself, asking "Who am I?", "I don't remember myself and how I look like." You cannot remember when you were ever yourself, ever laughed a good laugh because you were faking the laughter as every one elses laughed along or what you have done because you were focused on doing the activity so that you will be noticed. Thus losing yourself in the midst of fighting for affections or approval from these so-called "others".
How pathetic.....
Affections are positive and out of a goodwill, out of sincerity, of love, of compassion, of gentle-kindness, etc. It's from the inner being of the soul, being who you truly are. Unaffected by the "eyes" of others, by what is known as norm.
REMINDER
The norm is to be courageous and brave to live as who you really are. Acceptance comes first from yourself and second from others.
