Volcano Eruption
My temper has changed drastically after Emerge. Indeed, God's presence was tangible and I was very ministered by His love.
On Friday night, when I went in late after work, I felt emotional and wanted to cry. And I thought to myself, "Why am I so emotional?!?" It's ridiculous because praise and worship was over. When Pastors after Pastors shared how the youth has impacted their campuses and schools and friends, my tears just flowed down. Perhaps I felt I have not lived up to God's standards, not only that I felt "small" because the cares of this world has somehow robbed my joy.
Yet it's a choice and a decision I have to make on my part to allow God's words to change me or to allow the cares of this world to affect me. I chose the latter.
But I want to trust God to turn my heart around and to come before Him without any guilt or shame that I have let Him down. I always have to remind myself that I am not Holy Spririt nor am I an angel. I need to remind myself that I am a forgiven SINNER.
Every one needs to go through a season of molding and that includes me. I guess on my part it's my pride. I always come before God at my best, run away from Him when I am at my worst state. It's stupid, I know. It should be the other way round.
I just need to stop using my own strength to handle my life and allow Holy Spirit to takeover.
On Friday night, when I went in late after work, I felt emotional and wanted to cry. And I thought to myself, "Why am I so emotional?!?" It's ridiculous because praise and worship was over. When Pastors after Pastors shared how the youth has impacted their campuses and schools and friends, my tears just flowed down. Perhaps I felt I have not lived up to God's standards, not only that I felt "small" because the cares of this world has somehow robbed my joy.
Yet it's a choice and a decision I have to make on my part to allow God's words to change me or to allow the cares of this world to affect me. I chose the latter.
But I want to trust God to turn my heart around and to come before Him without any guilt or shame that I have let Him down. I always have to remind myself that I am not Holy Spririt nor am I an angel. I need to remind myself that I am a forgiven SINNER.
Every one needs to go through a season of molding and that includes me. I guess on my part it's my pride. I always come before God at my best, run away from Him when I am at my worst state. It's stupid, I know. It should be the other way round.
I just need to stop using my own strength to handle my life and allow Holy Spirit to takeover.
