wHaT iS mY eMoTiOn?

Thus, yet again, I can feel my emotions going haywire. Regrets? Depression? Loneliness? Insecurity?

All these seems to be coming back to me now. Just when you want to serve God more fervently, just when you decide to live a life of passion, just when you want to renew your mind and decide to spend more time in His word and standing upon the truth.....

all of a sudden.......

So what did Paul says? Take up the armour, stand firm with faith. Not to move and charge but to just STAND firm. I guess, that's to say not to waver.

I feel like I am walking on still waters and then sinking amidst the storm.

Why ME? WHY? sigh........... I want to be with people who has the passion of Christ, I want to be with people who has the zoe life of God. I have seen and met a few but we were never friends, just acquaintances.

I need to have a mentor who challenges and disciples me. Not that my CGL is not, but it's so different. It's just like Elkman & Kong. It's not about leadership authority but really mentoring. A sister or a brother, someone older. Be it in age or spiritual maturity.

But I guess the problem currently lies with me because of my perceptions, attitudes, experiences. All these seems to have clouded what I used to believe and is possible to achieve.

But right now, I'd just like to have a shoulder to lean on. I am sick and tired of staying strong and independent. How I wish I can be like the morning glory, though it is a form of parasite, most people look at it as a beautiful flower.

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