Drained

These 2 days I have been quite emotional, not in the sense of crying, but somehow I am rather insecure. Whenever it comes to relationship, I cannot handle. I think too much I guess. Anyway I am not attached so it's not some kinda relationship problem, but more like man-problem.

Every male that I come in contact with or rather especially those intellectual or mature ones, I will feel intimidated. WHY? Well, that's because I usually can't differentiate between admiration and attraction. I fall easily for these kind of men but the thing is that I am quite a kiddo. Short and a little round, inexperienced in communication or lack of alot of knowledge. How to help my Godly man if he is intellectual or when he has more than enough wisdom? How to be his helper like what God has asked all women to do?

Sigh...... If I like someone, I will be more afraid to relate and communicate, I will have withdrawal syndrome. I think I am just afraid of rejection, lack of confidence and self-esteem. That's why I am seeking God (not too sure hard enought or not) to lean on Him and that He will be my greatest love and not any other person. Though I am to love my godly man, but God is the first place and he, the second.

I am having a terrible headache, but it's good coz I think I will sleep very well tonight.

Today is a rather tiring but fruitful day. Gave BS to "Queen Esther", then went to Far East to get presents for a few friends. Ah yo!!!! What story!!! The gals' presents are rather easy to get, but the bro.... Gave us headache! hehe.. But finally, we have got what we ought to get. Thank God for the anointing to choose the right present. Not trying to be super spiritual, but it is always good to buy the right presents. don't you think so?

ok..... I need to do my assignment liao.....

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