CG Guitarist
Last night was my first night playing in the cell group as the guitarist. I was told that I only need to practise together with Rebecca to prepare for future mutiplied group. Lo and behold, "Can lah, later you play together with Rebecca!" That was what our dear leader said.
I was happy, excited but also alittle scare scare. But it was good, haven't felt so good for a long time. Many years ago in my youth, I wanted to do something for the my CG at that time or rather I wanted to do something for God that will impact lives. I wanted to be a CGL but each time I discipled someone, I would just feel inadequate and felt a sense of condemnation. My conscience or the "accuser" would just tell me, "Hey what right do you have to disciple others? Look at your life, there are so many imperfections. You haven't even done what you are teaching! How can you teach others?"
I felt condemned and I fell from glory to darkness. Depression overwhelmed and I felt worthless.
But praise God, why?
Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,* who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 12:9
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Matthew 10
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Thank you, Jesus! I think we really need to know our identity in Christ, experience Him, His love, mercy and grace in our lives. When there are encounters, we need to follow through and not forget of His goodness. Very often we are forgetful people (faithless perhaps you can say that), but we need to remind ourselves. That is why I like to keep a diary, when I read back, etiher I find myself silly for getting depressed over nothing or I remember what God has done for me.
Last night CG was a great one though it ended late. My mum was there despite of being an early bird to bed. When she said she wanted to join us, I was like "duh". Not that I don't want her to join but she does to bed every night at about 8pm or 9pm. When she told me she wanna join us, I told her don't tell me you want to go home halfway through the CG. I know I am a little bad but I just want to let her know that CG won't end that early.
But anyhow, my mum was quite spontaneous. Amazingly, she stayed through out, whether she understands or not, it's another issue. But I pray that she will catch the message, in Jesus' name!
We celebrated 5 persons' BD last night!!!!!!!!! Wa liew.... "Happy birthday to you X 2, Happy birthday to......... Cindy..., Steves..., James..., Audrey..., Zhiwei..., Happy birthday to you!"
Not only that, "God is blessing you now X 2, God is blessing you, Cindy..., Steves..., James..., Audrey..., Zhiwei..., God is blessing you now!"
haha, first time I sing birthday song so long-winded but it was fun! I like it! haha.. Though it will be more fun if CG can end early and perhaps we can just hear what's their wishes are.
Oh ya back to the guitar story! Praise was ok not that bad, but comes to worship, it was alittle out. I worship in a different way as in my strumming for worship songs very different from Rebecca. So I didn't want to play loud because the timing maybe different. Quite stressful for worship but at least there was great improvement from the last time I played alone for the CG's prayer meet at Gen's house! That one, don't know what I was playing.
Well, just need to pray for more anointing and spend more time in my prayer closet. :-)
I was happy, excited but also alittle scare scare. But it was good, haven't felt so good for a long time. Many years ago in my youth, I wanted to do something for the my CG at that time or rather I wanted to do something for God that will impact lives. I wanted to be a CGL but each time I discipled someone, I would just feel inadequate and felt a sense of condemnation. My conscience or the "accuser" would just tell me, "Hey what right do you have to disciple others? Look at your life, there are so many imperfections. You haven't even done what you are teaching! How can you teach others?"
I felt condemned and I fell from glory to darkness. Depression overwhelmed and I felt worthless.
But praise God, why?
Romans 8:1
There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,* who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 12:9
And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Matthew 10
29 Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Thank you, Jesus! I think we really need to know our identity in Christ, experience Him, His love, mercy and grace in our lives. When there are encounters, we need to follow through and not forget of His goodness. Very often we are forgetful people (faithless perhaps you can say that), but we need to remind ourselves. That is why I like to keep a diary, when I read back, etiher I find myself silly for getting depressed over nothing or I remember what God has done for me.
Last night CG was a great one though it ended late. My mum was there despite of being an early bird to bed. When she said she wanted to join us, I was like "duh". Not that I don't want her to join but she does to bed every night at about 8pm or 9pm. When she told me she wanna join us, I told her don't tell me you want to go home halfway through the CG. I know I am a little bad but I just want to let her know that CG won't end that early.
But anyhow, my mum was quite spontaneous. Amazingly, she stayed through out, whether she understands or not, it's another issue. But I pray that she will catch the message, in Jesus' name!
We celebrated 5 persons' BD last night!!!!!!!!! Wa liew.... "Happy birthday to you X 2, Happy birthday to......... Cindy..., Steves..., James..., Audrey..., Zhiwei..., Happy birthday to you!"
Not only that, "God is blessing you now X 2, God is blessing you, Cindy..., Steves..., James..., Audrey..., Zhiwei..., God is blessing you now!"
haha, first time I sing birthday song so long-winded but it was fun! I like it! haha.. Though it will be more fun if CG can end early and perhaps we can just hear what's their wishes are.
Oh ya back to the guitar story! Praise was ok not that bad, but comes to worship, it was alittle out. I worship in a different way as in my strumming for worship songs very different from Rebecca. So I didn't want to play loud because the timing maybe different. Quite stressful for worship but at least there was great improvement from the last time I played alone for the CG's prayer meet at Gen's house! That one, don't know what I was playing.
Well, just need to pray for more anointing and spend more time in my prayer closet. :-)
